How To Build the Spine of a Memoir
Most people think writing memoir is about remembering. But what they forget is: remembering is an act of architecture.
You can’t build a story out of raw memory. You need structure. Shape. Spine.
What Memoir Is — and Isn’t
Too many would-be memoirists believe that if they just sit down and write what happened, a book will somehow emerge.
But memoir isn’t therapy. It’s not a journal entry with nice line breaks. And it’s not a list of events that made you who you are.
Memoir is the alchemy of raw memory and disciplined storytelling. That means:
– Choosing the frame, not just the scenes
– Understanding emotional pacing
– Knowing when to reveal and when to hold
– Making meaning, not just sharing moments
There’s soul, yes. But there’s also craft. And that’s where most people get stuck. They may be ready, but because they don’t yet know how to hold what they’ve lived.
If you’re circling your story and not sure how to land it, here are three ways to begin shaping its spine.
Three Ways To Strengthen the Spine of Your Memoir
1. Write a Clear Memoir Premise
Not the plot. The premise. Try to name the deepest engine of the story in one line.
“A woman tries to leave the only story she’s ever been given and learns how to tell her own.”
“A daughter returns home after her mother’s death to reclaim a legacy she once rejected.”
If you can’t boil your memoir down to a central pulse, it’s time to zoom out. You’re not just telling what happened. You’re telling what it means.
2. Use Scaffolding Scenes To Build Structure
Don’t start at “the beginning.” Start with 3 to 5 anchor scenes. These scenes are emotionally charged moments that hold the arc of your transformation. They become your structural tentpoles.
You don’t need to know every chapter yet. But you do need bones to build from. Without them, you’ll write in circles and wonder why it doesn’t feel like progress.
3. Know What You Want the Reader To Feel
Not just what do I want them to know.
Memoir is an emotional experience. What feeling do you want to leave in their body? Resolve? Longing? Freedom? Clarity?
Let that final note become your compass. Every choice — every cut, every scene, every silence — should help you land there.
Soul and Structure Go Together
Soul will give your story heat. But it’s the spine that lets it stand.
And if you’re not sure what your story’s spine is, or how to build it, then you’re exactly who I created this memoir mentorship for.
The work is sacred. The work is real. And you don’t have to shape it alone.
